US Chess Launches Dating App To Bring Like-Minded Couples Together, Promoting the Romance of Chess
- Written by The April Fools Reporter The April Fools Reporter
- Created: 01 April 2017 01 April 2017
Utilizing propreitary algorithms developed by demographic researchers at the Devry Institute, US Chess has launched a new "app" aimed at creating compatible couples.
Project manager Alex Aleksandrovich indicates that by bringing together more chess players today, US Chess hopes to expand the number of chess-playing offspring in the next generation.
"Too often chess players are inter-marrying with non-chess players and we are noting lower tournament participation levels from these intermarriages," said Aleksandrovich. "Those electronic devices and Magic the Gathering are just too enticing to today's youth."
With a relatively modest investment of $70,000 for the app development (available for Android and iOs currently -- and eventually Windows in Q3 2022), it is hoped that US Chess will see expanded membership for decades to come.
Further, the $5 monthly fee for using the app should generate additional revenue to recoup the programming costs and pay for additional research and development on the algorithm.
Current US Chess members who are actively using the app earning a minimal number of "good move" points can cash in a reward for free entry to one rated tournament each quarter, and receive an attractive teal and fuscia polo shirt identifying their presence on the dating site.
If use of the app fosters a successful relationship which advances into a potential marriage proposal, US Chess will sanction the wedding at a National event provided that a written request is submitted at least six weeks prior (and both parties have active USCF memberships). Chess Life will list all wedding announcements in a new column entitled, "Seizing the Open File: Walking Down the Aisle".
US Chess coordinator Mike Moiseyevich indicated that at least one Tournament Director at each National Event will have to be ordained in order to perform the formal services, but that this would be a small price to pay. "As time controls expand, we've been looking at ways to make things more interesting between rounds and the wedding idea just seemed like a natural fit." US Chess will pay for a 20-hour program for any TD looking to receive the ordination through a yet to be identified church.
Currently only those aged 19 and older are eligible to register for the app, but there are plans for a "juniors only" version within the year to aid in the facilitation of prom dates and partnering for mixed double awards.
Details on the matching algrorithm are being kept hush-hush -- but reportedly some of the same statistical geniuses who worked out the current USCF ratings formula and the next generation of tiebreak equations are behind the dating app project.
Consulting psychologist Sammy Herman advised, "It's long been known in Social Dynamics Theory that Grunfeld players are much more compatible with each other than with Kings Indian Defense enthusiasts, so we're just trying to take this to the next level and see where it goes."
Continues Herman, "Have you ever known of a successful relationship involving a French Defense player and someone who responds to the Ruy Lopez with the Berlin Wall Defense? Inconceivable!"
"End game specialists are generally compatible with each other while blitz specialists have been known to be only in it for the short-term experience of relationships and are not desirable as long-term companions."
The app also allows players to record notation of their games and -- pending certification -- will be authorized for use in USCF tournaments much like the Monroi and the PlyCounter. If a symaptico playing style is identified -- and both players happen to be at the same event -- the application generates a message to the tournament organizer to pair the two in the next round with automatic half-point byes, allowing the potential couple to get to know one another.
Dating sites such as eHarmony and Match.com are reportedly interested in licensing some of the techniques pioneered for the app.
Currently fewer than 80 thousand people a year participate in USCF-rated events -- and three-quarters of them are juniors. With 49 million American adults having tried online dating (according to Statistics Brain), it's hoped that the legion of tournament chess players will grow almost immediately before the influx of the new generation in six to eight years.
According to Statistics Brain (http://www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics/) 64% of online daters indicate compatible interests are a major factor in finding love -- so what could be more natural than bringing together chess players?
"For every US Chess member there are 200 eHarmony members and 300 Match.com members -- so we could learn a thing or two from them about marketing," said Aleksandrovich.
But that seems like a small price to pay for love -- and the perpetuation of tournament chess!